May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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