I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
