actually, I'm a sock model
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
