You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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