worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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