I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize