Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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