remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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