Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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