You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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