I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I party with great urgency now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
