sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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