omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
