I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
