I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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