I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Are we still banned from the library?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
