Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
