next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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