I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
