nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
