It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
