there's paper in my vomit.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
