Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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