My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
