I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
