I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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