why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
