she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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