Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
