he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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