There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Even the bartender felt bad for me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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