Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
