so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
