He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
