i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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