Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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