Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize