He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
