wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
