she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
