why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
