I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
