alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
