I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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