no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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