i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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