she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
