Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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