He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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