Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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