I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
