This girl is more easily done than said...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
