i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
