Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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