I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
