and you said cock pushups were impossible
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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