LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
