Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
