just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
