your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
