At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
