Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
