I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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